Monday, January 30, 2012

Chemical Drain Cleaner Blues

Have you ever wondered about someone's ability to plug the drainage system of a house or apartment? Everyone sheds hair, everyone pours bacon fat down the kitchen sink, but why do some people get all the clogs? These special people have the plumber on speed dial; they are knowledgeable about toilet snakes, are conversant with the dissolving speeds and ratios of caustic to fat, and they know which midnight gardening supply center has specials on Drain-o. You know someone like this, do you not?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Where is my role model

Gluten Badwulf is my nephew, and he lives in Erin, Ontario. He is a fine lad and is shaping up well to inherit the Broccoli Plantation that the Badwulf's have had in that part of Ontario since the Orangemen settled the area in the 1880's. Unlike me, though, he watches television. The Badwulf compound in Erin (located on the vast acreage of the plantation) boasts a fine chateau, and most of the rooms have a television of some sort. Flat screen now a days, and flat screen monitors are less bulky than their tube ancestors, so stuffing a screen in the various rooms; bedroom, den, kitchen, laundry, and work shop; is more likely than it was back in the days when the lying progressives of the CBC were filling the brains of taxpayers with the over boiled pasta of political correctness. Of course, nobody in the Badwulf household watches main stream TV; they watch downloads.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Horoscope for the week of January 22, 2012

The Sun finally transits out of Capricorn and into Aquarius, taking the personal edge off the bite of the various heavy influences of Pluto (money crisis), and Saturn (relationships). As the Age of Aquarius starts to flex its muscles (the internet) we are seeing the crumbling of the obsolete remnants of the Age of Pisces, and a few bits from just about everywhere.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Fenris Badwulf caring person

I, Fenris Badwulf, I care. One way I have of caring is to grant people's wishes. Within reason, of course. One little girl wanted to play with spiders: now we cannot have that, now can we? All socially acceptable stuff applies; not only does it apply, it is constantly shifting thanks to the soft headed whims of the ability challenged activists. And since we are gunning somehow for a government grant, funding, resources, contracts, from all this teddy bear and pony posturing one needs someone else to pay the piper, foot the bill, make the sacrifice. Sacrifices are called for, but these can be arranged with suitable lies and untruths: it is the government after all. The next pressing problem is is it doable? Some wishes are impossible; and to determine doable we must get close to the person making the wish. Talk to them, watch them like a stalker, laugh at their jokes, earn their trust, reflect back their statements, and really apply those telemarketers listening skills. Still, it may lead back to spiders.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Snowblower Operator Safety Helmet Awareness

Gretchen Prunebowel is a library worker facing unemployment thanks to the unjustified persecution by extreme right white wing fringe meanies. I talked to her at her office only the other day. She was sad. I was so sad that I wanted to raise taxes just to make her stop crying. Always active in activist causes, she is one of the prime movers for the installation of needle drop off jugs in library washrooms. As she put it not having a safe place to shoot up in a library is a leading cause of oppression. Especially when she/he/it/whatever is waiting around after a job opportunities seminar to pick her/his/its/whatever kids from the library reading program. But there is more of her good works. She is working to bring in a Toronto bylaw requiring snow blower operators to wear an approved snow blower operator safety helmet when operating a snow blower...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Not resting in peace

Not resting in peace, what the heck does that mean? Not resting? Resting, but not peacefully? Insomnia, acid reflux, but for the dead? Or does the 'rest in peace' bit just get negated? In a post Christian world, we gotta know. Into the vacuum created by the suppression of Christianity, the vacant atheism of the elites has not seeped. The disgusting proletarians (with whom the Marxist divines do not rub shoulders) have spiritual beliefs; it is their opiate, for they are the masses. But while the Mass, the bible study, and the Sunday sermon are no more, still the seething masses embrace belief, and what they believe is pagan, not atheism.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Let's spend taxpayers money

Spending has never been faster and deeper than it has been with those generous wheelbarrows of taxpayers money, thanks to Federal Arts spending grants here at Mitchieville. Spending without supervision or accountability is one of my skills, finely honed in dispersing Federal, provincial, and municipal capital over the long steady years of activist statism.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Amerikkka under Communism, er Socialism, er Progressive whatever

Let us face it, the most successful communist country was East Germany. There was something special about the commitment of the peace loving German people, as lead by their wise leadership, towards making communism, er, socialism, er, progressive whatever, work. And in East Germany, let us face it, it worked best. Now where do you get off thinking that America cannot do a better job, or an equivalent job, than the East Germans? I think that America can make communism, er, socialism, er progressive whatever, work.

A workers paradise means paradise for workers. Do you work? Have the capitalist monkeys done micro feces for you, lately? Have they ever? Their mouthpiece RINO creatures, the monkey mutants, just take your vote and then support the Never Workers Party. Time for a change. Red is a color found on the American flag.

Accepting the past, and owning it. I can freely accept the history of the communist, er, socialist, er, progressive whatever, in mass murder, torture, seizure of private property, suppression of religion, and whatever various bad things that everyone else does they get accused of. And I say, big deal. Like how is the Tea Party (if in power, say) going to deal with the Never Workers? Cutting their diaper money is going to lead to 'social unrest'. Get your head out of the sand, worker. The Never Workers are short listed to a seat in a disintegration chamber. Does not matter who is running the show, the mess is the same, the laws of economics are still law, the invisible hand of the market still is invisible, and the logical final solution of the Never Worker problem is just one, and final. At least the communists, er, socialists, er, progressive whatever'ses, have a proven track record of success at recycling undesirables into soap, purse leather, sex slaves, asbestos workers, and raccoon food pellets. Tell me this is not going to happen, tell me lies; deceive yourself, if you can.

Think about this, Happy Worker.
After the defeat of the Never Workers Party comes the rendering down of the Never Workers. Once the Never Workers have ceased oxygen consumption (No buffalo, no Sioux) there will be plenty of resources within a balanced budget (in an environment of zero government debt) to build bridges, highways, and liquid sodium fast breeder reactors. But will the Never Workers report to the disintegration chambers on the promise of a lollipop from Newt Gingrich? I suspect not. For a proven performer in final solutions management, you need socialism. Democracies with property rights and gun ownership are incompetent bunglers in this market sector.

Make up your mind, Happy Worker.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Michigan sausage

Recently, unlike my normally hard working self, I took advantage of the privilege token system here in Mitchieville and went to Montreal to use up a few of the many blue, red, orange, and green privilege tokens I had accumulated in my position as Minister of Re-Education. It was New Years. I jumped in the employee Mitchieville to Montreal shuttle (along with Sonjia DeSade, Reg from Internal Mail, and Trixie from Library Sciences). The Mayor is too cheap to pay for a driver, so we took turns driving, and filled the miles with conversation.