Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Strategy Concepts

As mentioned in the post The Pentagram Strategy *, there are several subsidiary tactical motifs used by today's modern, post-Christian business person. Drawing upon the business scenario of the Human Organ Broking industry, Sargon the Magnificent, Financial Astrologer to the Captains of Canadian Capitalism, now expounds the details ...

The Ebola Kidney Strategy
Acme is the incompetent competitor of Biolife. This incompetence will serve to:

1) make Biolife shine in comparison. Biolife will supply matching organs in a timely fashion, with no quality assurance problems. Acme will supply substandard organs. They might not even have a tissue match, they do not have to be fresh, and they do not even have to be human!

2) draw criticism away from Biolife. While Biolife may have a few blemishes (high fees, questionable sources of human organs, mysterious dissappearances of critics), Acme is alot worse!

3) discipline critics of Biolife. Critics of Biolife can find themselves with an organ from a primate research lab (infected with Ebola * ), by 'mistake', by Acme. Likewise, medical professionals that do not sign onto the Biolife organ transplant bandwagon can also find themselves in a surgical theatre with an Ebola Kidney. Critics, recipients, doctors, or meddling do-gooders, can experience for themselves the shoddy quality that subjugation to Biolife can prevent. Criticising Biolife is both dangerous and unprofitable.

4) act as a receptacle for incompetent Biolife employees. Malcontent and subversive staff from Biolife can be lured to Acme, and then eliminated in some horrible fashion. I suggest some variation on the laboratory 'accident' or 'faulty' elevator scenario. Incompetents, hostile legal counsel, and irritating people could even be used as organ sources. In the end, the profitable Biolife avoids lawsuits and maximizes shareholder value.

The Back Door Strategy.
Acme management is so incompetent that nobody actually knows ehere their money goes. Acme money will be used for:

1) Fund research projects that will line our pockets

2) Embarrass our critics (real critics, not the pretend ones under our control). Imagine the scandal when some politician is exposed taking 'human organ bootlegger' blood money ... from Acme.

3) Reward our supporters. Imagine the favors granted when a politician is flown to our 'research center' in Thailand for a few days of narcotic soaked sexual debauchery. Imagine the gratitude from scientists and academia when they get a research grant, scholarship, or donation (funded by Acme, but administered by Biolife).

The Hammer and Anvil Strategy.
It does not matter which telemarketing campaign calls you, they all work for us. We can use The Enemy and The Friends to promote our agenda:

1) Curtail motorcycle helmet laws - we can use bike gangs both as a source of organ donors and goon enforcers

2) Support orgon donor card signing drives and legislation to make organ donation mandatory

3) Tissue typing drives of donors (children, young adults), paid for my government and community service labor

4) Curtail harmful science: any alternatives to organ transplants are bad, and should not be studied. Also, those meddling 'healthy lifestyle' do-gooders, which reduces long term demand for human spare parts.

5) Embarass our critics: use our telemarketing assets to undermine our real opponents.

6) Reward our supporters: use our telemarketing assets to support friendly politicians, medical professionals, and social activists.

The Cookie Jar Strategy.
Accounting records and disloyal staff have acted as an unending source of embarassment and unjustified expense. The paper trail will be eliminated through:

1) Location of accounting record storage facilities in areas of military conflict. Currently, the servers for our 'records' are located in the hill country of Pakistan * , the insurgent controlled area of Peru * , and Detroit * .

2) Exclusive hiring of incompetents according to employment equity laws. In most cases, taxpayer money is paying the salaries and benefits for these dullards, bunglers, and academics.

3) Selective hiring of persons with communicable diseases (Leprosy, Scabies, anti-biotic resistant Tuberculosis * , and Bubonic Plague) to handle accounting paperwork. These documents are now bio-hazardous, which either deters or infects nosy meddling do-gooders.

4) Use of Computer software to generate vast amounts of important looking but incomprehensible reports and data. Currently, our operation in Waterloo, Ontario can produce a railway car a day of meaningless information.

5) Selective hiring of ex-felons to create a pool of people to blame when the inevitable Congressional inquiry sticks its snout in where it does not belong. Currently, our chief financial officer and his staff were hired right out of prison. A grateful government is giving us wheelbarrows of taxpayers money to hire these cut-throats and give them an employment opportunity.

The Pentagram Strategy.
Everyone who gets the gift of life from Biolife knows that when a gift is given, a debt is incurred. Using hypnotic techniques, we can implant suggestions and commands into the subconscious of our organ recipients, engendering feelings of gratitude and financial generosity. Most people who get organs from Acme are going to die quickly, so there is no need to hypnotize them, unless they are being used for an assassination hit or inside job robbery in the time that remains to them.

To control the four organizations, we can use a secret society. Members of this society will be bound together with suitable secret rites, regalia, and methods of identification. Hypnotic techniques can be used on all employees, to the extent that rank in the organization is equivalent to hypnotizability (according to the Stanford scale * ).

I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this

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