Horoscope for the week of November 6, 2011

At long last, Neptune goes direct. It moves forward towards the sign it rules, Pisces. This is not that important, as most things Pisces occur in the subconscious; things just happen, so to speak. However, as this is the transition century into the Age of Aquarius, this is also the first time that Neptune (the ruler of the previous age, the Age of Pisces) gets a kick at the can after running things for two thousand years. Which is to say, this is a transit of settling accounts, a very Pisces thing to do. Instead of the usual hundred year window, there are two thousand years of accounting to be made to the heavenly powers that keep track of such things. You may correctly assume that aberrant Pisces energies will get put in check by the new Emperor in Supreme City; and healthy Pisces energies will get to focus on the matter at hand, and not get pulled into politics. Reformers will appear, and have their effects correctly localized; Heretics and Frauds will be put down more by the internet than by Inquisitors; and Skeptics will be challenged by new technology and innovations. This sea change occurs on the tenth of November, and the transit makes its official debut on February 4th of 2012.

What does the Age of Aquarius mean to you? Well, first it means the end of the Age of Pisces. Two things to look at here: Disasters, and State Religion.

The Piscean Age Divines (by divines, I mean mystics; in the Aquarian age, divines means drag queens) sought out divine favor to avoid the disasters in life such as earthquakes, plagues, tempests, ship wreck, and the accident of death. Now, we have the Aquarian invention of Science. We still have earthquakes, plagues, tempests, ship wreck, and a whole new mess of accidents of death. Not only can your ship sink, your plane can fall out of the sky, and your car burst into flame. The illusion you must struggle with is the concept that you can control these disasters; you cannot. They will still happen. Really, they do. And there are the disasters that have been wished away: either through ignorance or malice. During the transit of Neptune through Pisces, the Aquarian Age will wrestle with those that have been wished away, puffed up, and ignored. Those wished away have been from fear, those puffed up from greed, and those ignored from ignorance. Do not get bitten: either from avoiding, paying, or running with the crowd.

The State Religion. Any state above a certain size, power, or influence, needs a state religion to keep itself together. The state religion has a life and power of its own quite separate from the mundane apparatus of the state. Where there is dissent from the state religion, the state does not thrive. The Piscean Age called this religion, now we are beginning to call it culture. Disagreement with this is all the rage in the Aquarian Age. But, as Robespierre discovered, messing with the state religion can lead to a haircut from the national razor. Your mission during the Neptune transit is to figure out where you stand with the state religion. Things will not be so carefree as they are right now: are you a heretic, lay worker, religious, or a witch burner? Clarity is coming, watch for it.

Aries: This is a week of finishing up old business, or just winding down on vacation. The ordeal starts next week, and you know it. A peasant uprising is brewing, put together an arrest list. Old people oppose your plans. Poison them, or let someone else put the dagger to their useless hearts.

Taurus: Savor the rich blessings of the harvest. You are unusually eloquent this week: you could charm the Pope into giving King Henry a divorce. Look to the past for some good luck for the present. Take the omens from a reading of the tarot.

Gemini: The big picture gets in the way of your personal life. Those meddling Greeks have upset your dinner plans and your evening diversions. Expect a sudden call from a female your own age. Either that, or you will be contacted from the afterlife.

Cancer: Annoying people just need to have drugs slipped into their food. Then give them shock treatments. You can make the equipment yourself, in your private sanctum. Someone is missing from your work space. You should seek them out.

Leo: Only the blood of your enemies will quench your thirst. That restless feeling is your hunger for vengeance. Alas, this week your thirst is unquenched: instead, indulge in wild sexual debauchery. And keep a supply of condoms handy in the back seat of your car.

Virgo: The world trembles at what you are about to achieve. Even in your slippers, your footstep is as dread and mighty as the legions of the Roman Empire. The Mind-Machine interface is yours to design.

Libra: If you feel you are keeping the lid on a pressure cooker, you are right. The horsemen of the Apocalypse are feeling their oats and want to come out for a ride. But what should you wear? Sensible riding boots, or marching boots, for later? Do keep a roll of toilet paper in your car.

Scorpio: If you had God's email address, what would you say? Then again, are you ready for some shared pics from the Almighty? Watch your mail; maybe amend your profile. Have a real first aid kit ready in your car.

Sagittarius: The whorehouse you liked last week will not be the whorehouse you like this week. Your have been approached by a secret society, but seem unaware of the benefits of membership. When a queue jumper bursts into flames, you will know.

Capricorn: Last weeks setback is really a blessing in disguise. You would feel better if you knew this for certain. The world changes Thursday; a better world for Capricorns. Draw up a revised enemies list and give it to Santa Claus.

Aquarius: OK, smarty pants. Your mission this week is to solve the great problems of the Age. If you can convert one person to your cause, this will be a good omen. Only your Capricorn associates care.

Pisces: You have a secret admirer. Jack the Ripper admires your taste. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad, these sociopaths. Otherwise, attend to your cat. Maybe avoid the alley behind the pub, at least until the screaming starts.

I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this.