Sunday, March 31, 2013

Horoscope for the week of March 31, 2013

Crisis spreads, becomes deeper and wider. Truly, a river overflowing its banks in the night, not with thunder and lightning, but in silence. Those in positions of responsibility seem to be drugged or degenerate or distracted. Such is the effect of a ruling Neptune in Pisces whilst the other powers do their thing. But you have a personal destiny, and it too is written in the stars ...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Have you told someone that you love them today?

As I sit with my beloved in the warm embrace of our loving home, I look into her eyes and then we join in a shared sacrament of our eternal love: Our lips share the goodness that is The Bran Muffin.

Yes, Good Citizens, as our arms are entwined, we eat natures perfect food, the Bran Muffin. This simple baked good, celebrated in song and in sonnet, praised by poets and proctologists alike, is correctly equated with virility among men and fertility among women. Baldness is rumored to be cured by a daily diet of a single morning muffin of bran, Potent erections return with renewed iron resolve when your colon smiles with a steady flow of bran, depression flees before it's fiber goodness.

The author of The Lord of the Rings used The Bran Muffin as his model for the life giving food of the elves. Yes, lembas, the way bread of the fairy folk, is indeed the simple and nourishing Bran Muffin! The Orcs, their sallow complexions and pinched dispositions are bitter charactures of the chronically constipated. So, Good Citizens, with whom do you march? The smiling colons of the Elves? Or the tormented intestines of the Orcs?

Let this be your thought of the day, this day. Gobble down a Bran Muffin today. Look forward to fulfillment and self-actualization. Surely toil and stress fade before the rising sun of healthy goodness. Be filled with the life force! Enpower yourself with a Bran Muffin today, tomorrow, and forward into eternity!

I love children. As the tiny tots are readied for return to their parents after a day in daycare, I dispatch my tiny charges fortified with a bran muffin. As a treat, they also get a Cadillac, a beverage blend of a cup of coffee with a chocolate bar dissolved in the hot liquid. This is consumed only minites before the happy energetic charges are reunited with their workforce parents. The tykes love it. No one has ever complained.

The Bran Muffin is your sword and shield against distemper and plague. Let your visits to the proctologist be filled with joy and singing and poetry. Let the unwise Orcs face the Rectonaut Probe. Be an elf and eat your daily Bran Muffin. There is no better way to tell someone you love them. Give the gift of life that fills them with love ... The Bran Muffin.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this, thanks to a generous grant from the Septic Tank Pump Truck Owner-Operators Association of South Western Ontario

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Home Health Care

My neighbor is having medical problems. He retired two years ago. He is collecting a magnificent pension, supplemented by his savings and private investments. He also has hidden sources of income: his children are indebted to him. He squeezes them, but that is no business of mine. But that was two years ago, when he retired. He threw a party where he served screw top wine, bottom feeder beer, and bulk chips from the Chinese variety store. The steak and lobster were for later, for himself. He bragged about his travel plans to Cuba and showed a brochure of his new car which he was picking up after he got back from Havana. But that was two years ago; now he is home, and sick. But I, Fenris Badwulf, I care. I went by, good neighbor like, to provide the home health care your confiscated income pays for, but the socialists do not provide. I care ...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Fenris Badwulf, caring person

My high school math teacher, who taught socialism instead of math to his math class, taught socialist truth. Truth like laws make criminals. I was talking about this socialist laws make criminals meme to the teller at The Bank of Palermo. Now, where I bank, they treat you like family; because who would you really trust with your money but family? Banks are in the news these days. The banks in Cyprus are taking forty percent of depositors' savings; and now there is talk of doing the same across Europe. No outrage from the welfare classes, of course. They spend money, they do not save. Those seized savings are going to propping up the welfare state. This concerned my friend, the teller at The Bank of Palermo.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Drug Cartel Information

Looking for information on the Mexican Drug Cartels? Check out this site.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Weaponizing your House Pets

The future is coming, and that future includes your beloved house pets. You can teach your old pets new tricks. I am teaching my girlfriend's budgie to overthrow evil. You start off small, of course. It is like gladiator training in Mortal Kombat. Only you are the Master. In this scenario stew you are cooking, you are the chef ...

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Horoscope for the week of March 24, 2013

The War God, Mars, is on the march. And, he looks attractive in that uniform. Venus accompanies Mars in Aries, and the delightful Sun shines his light upon the romance of soldier and lover. So, there is sex to appeal to the lusty. Mercury remains behind in Pisces keeping motivations hidden and confused, but also bringing resources and answers in that magical way so special about Mercury in Pisces. So, a week of fire and dash, heroes to cheer, and miraculous arrivals of rescuing cavalry. This is your week in the stars.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Working document manifesto.

You really cannot be serious now a days without some sort of personal manifesto. Let us start a working document with all the stuff you cannot have in your manifesto.

1) Things to not have in your manifesto:
  1. Repress free speech.
  2. Oppress minorities and women.
  3. Force people to worship against their will.
  4. Abuse religion. Use it as a tool of power, mind control, and manipulation.
  5. Implement fear.
  6. Manufacture, storage, training of your armed forces with weapons of terror, like poison gas, germ agents, radioactive weapons; land mines, booby traps, blinding lasers ...
That will do for now. There are more things you cannot have, obviously.

Morning coffee

Some mornings, you just want to write I am here for revenge on the bathroom mirror. You can write in soap, toothpaste, or simply shape the letters with your finger on the steamy mirror. You can visualize yourself putting on your Norwegian Black Metal makeup look. Some people do their blogging wearing a housecoat; me, I prefer Black Metal. But those are things you can do at home. What about at work? You can write I am here for revenge on the washroom mirror at work, but going in wearing your Norwegian Black Metal look might be a bit much, except on Casual Fridays. And, at work, the office consensus never allows decent music on the office radio. Always some swimming dolphins, chirpy pop, or geriatric rock'n'roll. Never what you want. That is consensus. Never Prussian March music; never Norwegian Black Metal. Diversity means never what you want; and taxes. Still, there are mornings; and those are the mornings you keep your thoughts to yourself. You watch people when they are not watching. You think about holding an honest ax, not a dishonest coffee cup. You listen to your inner voices, and hold them down to a whisper. Times change. You get older; you get promotions ... It was not until I became Human Resources Manager that I realized how upset people get at stuff like I am here for revenge written on the washroom mirror in a work environment.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Strategy Concepts

As mentioned in the post The Pentagram Strategy *, there are several subsidiary tactical motifs used by today's modern, post-Christian business person. Drawing upon the business scenario of the Human Organ Broking industry, Sargon the Magnificent, Financial Astrologer to the Captains of Canadian Capitalism, now expounds the details ...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Public Transit in the City of Light

Celebrate Diversity by riding public transit. Wrap your mouth around the white guilt spigot and suck back some of the feel good sap of political correctness. Gosh darn, the news is sticky with news about public transit here in the City of Light. Take your pick: the gunman they cannot catch, the rush hour without a rush, or just the general background theme of soon come, soon come. Our beloved leftists have strangled the road net, and now they are choking transit. Like an aging whore faced with a phallus of larger volume than her already stretched throat can handle, the system gurgles to a halt. Take a journey with me, Fenris Badwulf, into the future using the Global Warming science of conjecture into Public Transit in the City of Light:

The Cult of the Personality

Using Astrological Accounting methods gives you the edge ... here Sargon the Magnificent, renowned Canadian Financial Astrologer, continues his discussion of The Pentagram Strategy:

Monday, March 18, 2013

The Pentagram Strategy

Astute accountants know that astrology will give them the edge they need in todays business environment. Your competitors are supplementing Generally Accepted Accounting Practices with Crystal Ball Management Accounting ... so should you!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Jaded Voyeur

Some people like to watch. To share in other peoples intimate moments. To savor the diversity, I like to say, when asked, if confronted. Gone are the days, er, nights, when you have to walk around in the dark in unfamiliar back yards to savor the diversity. Now a days, you can get one of those cheap Chinese crystal balls. I do not have one. I have one of the older, original, crystal balls. It was made in Florence by the Scottish crystal ball maker MacKenzie for the Sforza duke of Milan. It does a much better job than those cheap knock offs on the market. It preserves that intimate feeling you get when you stand in the shrubs and peer in through a crack in curtains in the kitchen window.

Horoscope for the week of March 17, 2013

There are too many planets in Pisces for serious considerations to be considered seriously. Emotions rule, and emotional matters take on practical considerations. Resources come to those that need them, whereas the efforts to acquire resources are dispersed. It is a week for spiritual inquiry.

Friday, March 15, 2013

The inciting incident

Someone I know got a visit from the police. I do not know about you, but getting a visit from the Cops is a big deal for those of us raised in Ontario culture. After the ethnic cleansing that is progressive immigration policy, getting a visit from the Cops is no longer such a big deal. Heck, it is a plus: you get street cred from your homies. The Police are an army of occupation, enforcing white privilege, racism, and straight white male big dick rule. So it came as a surprise that the sticky with white guilt Toronto School Board would even dirty themselves by involving the police in their leftist versus tax payer feud. Our modern activists excel in stupid. They are ability challenged. I would laugh, except that, well, getting a visit from the Cops is a big deal in my culture.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Urban Unrest

My long time associate and more recently, hired mercenary, Mad Mike, is back in town after a mission to Dallas and then Byzantium.  He likes to rest up in London, under his old identity as a lazy, good for nothing roofer.  All the neighbors think he lives here, shuffling off to the store, when he is really based in New Zealand, along with his brigade of mercenaries.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Mad Mike's Book Store

My buddy Mad Mike * has a book store. Everyone who knows him, which is quite a few, call this place Mad Mikes Book Store. Mad Mike is a pretty mellow guy; he is not filled with rage, as so many mercenaries are. He likes a big dinner, beer, and women in latex catsuits. But then I mentioned Margaret Atwood *, and his face contorted in rage, like a free born British yeoman being told about Ship Money *.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Burning Margaret Atwood

I have not met anyone who had any book by Margaret Atwood that was not purchased, obtained, required but for some sort of school course. I have attended a lifetime of house parties, stood in front rooms, and admired the collection of school texts that all post Trudeau Canadians have. Every man jack and dolly has one, two, or ten of the works of the Canadian Left's favorite non-transgendered person whose vision exactly matches their own in the way that Easter Islanders always seemed to carve the same face to celebrate their dysfunctional culture.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Sleeping Sword

What can I do? What can you do? You have access to information, a sense of history, and knowledge of what worked in the past. You can solve problems, you have solved problems, dealt with situations personal, emotional, financial, and spiritual. You are confident in the face of adversity, react with calm and reason, make good choices, and are crowned with a reasonable measure of success. You are above the norm on the normal curve. You are an adult. You look around at your sphere of influence, and it works. Yours is not the world of a glue sniffer. At times you look to the greater universe, the one beyond your grasp. There you see problems you can easily solve; some problems are larger, but you research and find proven solutions that worked in the past; other problems, already beyond your reach, are beyond your grasp. None the less, you see things, situations, where you can see a solution, but cannot implement it. Your sword is asleep. How do you wake it up?

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Campus Hate Hoax Watch

Foaming, bursting diarrhea. My media survey is now embroiled by the mounting outrage over the wave of racism at progressive Oberlin college. It will not go away until they find out the perp is an N-person or otherwise disadvantaged. Ghack.

To think that there is a Klan Klavern active at Oberlin is terrifying. The Klan must be infiltrating the progressive academic towers first. Canada's own York U, the red extra University in town has a racism problem too. Anyway, this bears watching. If it goes mainstream ape shit, look for a white perp. Otherwise, there will be silence.

The Connaisseur of Schadenfreude Tours

What do you do for fun? Me, I have simple tastes: whiskey, whores, and violence. But not everyone has simple, down to earth tastes. Not everyone you care about enjoys the painted lips, the chocolate frosting, and the hollow point ammo, and that you appreciate. Some of the people on your gift list are connaisseurs of pleasure, and for them, it is schadenfreude that they appreciate. Now, for a simple man, such as myself, big words like schadenfreude have too many letters to be understood. It is better to experience the pleasures of schadenfreude. If you are shopping for a gift for a friend, relative, co-worker, or lover, then I suggest The Connaisseur of Schadenfreud Tours; they have an introductory offer this month: three days of schadenfreude at various Ontario Hospitals.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

The Invisible Hospital of White Privilege

Friday evenings in the Badwulf household are a time for pounding back liquor, gorging on fatty meats, and displays of sexual excess. My spiritual beliefs, the moral codes I live by, and the great lives I study as role models all have a common theme: Set, the Snake God. So, Friday night, when the pagan goddess Frigg has rulership over the TV remote, the CD library, and the keys to the lockable sex toys, we gather for fun and frolic. Refreshment, as the free masons say. But not every whiskey fueled Friday evening whoop up is a succession of degenerate pleasures. Heck no. The Human Condition is specific to us all. One of my guests, my good friend the Subversive Consumer, was suddenly seized with hiccups. I looked up at him over my cards (three kings and the ten of diamonds) and was filled with concern. I care. I felt the need for a diversion. 'Let us go to the hospital!' I suggested.