Monday, April 9, 2012

Thinking about the unthinkable

I have a buddy and he is an accelerationist. He wants the fall to come soon, and deep. There has to be a Tribulation before society can rebuild. And that Tribulation should come sooner, rather than later. He wants social unrest. He thinks about causing ways of causing social unrest. He has internet friends who are like minded, share experiences, and discuss methods. He is a great conversationalist, and has a fun way of scaring the shit out of people, when he gets going. No urban house owner is the same after a survivalist fanatic tells them which urban gang will loot his home.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Horoscope for the Month of March, 2012

A special child will be conceived this month: one to be born in the auspicious month of December, 2012. The followers of Set, the Snake God have been anticipating the birth of a personage of great power and influence in that month, as per their sacred writings. It is too early yet to tell under which sign the mother will be, although it can be narrowed down to the signs of Libra, Capricorn, or Aquarius. If you find yourself in the position of birth control failure, or a pharmacist wearing the distinctive serpent ring of that sect, you could well be the parent of this special child. You will also draw the attention of devotees of that sect, in the form of extra helpful strangers, offers of credit cards in the mail, or clean cut youth coming to your door pretending to be Christian missionaries.

Aries: Things will be going backwards for you all month, Aries. Around the time of the full moon on the 9th, you will experience your clocks going backwards. If you have internet and access to a dial up stock market trading utility, you can turn this to your advantage. The presence will be strongest in one room of you house. You might want to spend some time in a motel during this time. Then leave. After the full moon, electrical effects more familiar to theoretical physicists will occur in your vicinity, usually within 3.14 meters of your center of mass.

Taurus: After the 6th of March, your life picks up, Taurus. You have until the 14th to dispose of any reminders you have stashed in your trunk from your days of road rage from February. The 14th is the best day to buy a lottery ticket; you will win the lottery this month. Your life will also be punctuated with invitations to orgies, drunken debaucheries, and wild excesses of eating; all tied to the political process. Somebody wants your vote, Taurus. Your friends in organized crime will seek out your advice on a financial matter.

Gemini: The days between the 3rd and the 24th will be the best days of the month for you, Gemini. Fire will be your servant, so always carry fire making materials with you on your person. You might want to make a stash of a few jugs of bar b que starter in your car. This in addition to your usual Zombie fighting gear, which every sensible Gemini has handy. Your witty retorts will lead to a telemarketing operation shutting down after one of your legendary telephone confrontations in the second week of the month. Be careful who you call as you can unleash certain doom with your touch tone phone.

Cancer: Your fears of the collapse of civilization will be unfounded this month, Cancer. Be careful walking at night around the full moon on the 8th; and try to walk your dog before sunset. If some stranger comes to the door after sunset, have a full clip of those silver alloy rounds ready. Be very wary around garbage cans that have been disturbed by some animal. Let someone else deal with those large critters. The best days of the month for you are 3rd and 30th. Most especially the 3rd. Even a hum-drum invitation to the local swingers club will prove advantageous to your career.

Leo: Find an excuse to attend religious services between the start of the month and the 20th. Get your spiritual needs for the year out of your system before the 25th, when you will notice that your favorite supermarket parking lot is being used by space aliens for transhipment of fresh produce and dairy products to resupply their ships. After that date, you will find (in or close to an elevator) a space alien smart phone with a somewhat inscrutable drop down menu. Do not sleep with it under your pillow, but rather let it recharge close to where a house pet sleeps.

Virgo: Your technical skills and attention to detail will be challenged this month, Virgo. Initially by the forces of chaos. After you triumph over chaos, you will find yourself in a leadership position. On the weekend of the 3rd you will make an astounding discovery, and have the opportunity to create an astounding invention, provided you master the idea by the 12th. In the second half of the month your physical efforts will bring you rich material rewards. Help an old lady across the street.

Libra: Your month starts off turbulent, filled with people having the temerity to disagree with you or not jump to your orders with sufficient zeal. A sea change occurs after the first week, when practical concerns of shopping and spending money take precedence, which implies you will have wheelbarrows of cash to squander in your best possible taste. Around the middle of the month you will win the lottery, with this associated with some sort of gardening supply store or place where better seeds and trowels are sold. A magic scarf will come to you. Treasure it.

Scorpio: The keys to the treasure chests of Hades will be delivered to you this month, around the 15th, I would say. Unfortunately, the chests are located in a rather gloomy place, so do wear suitable clothes and footwear. Only take treasures, for the other objects you may find will want to return to their, uh, original owner. Be prepared. Think big picture. As the month wanes, a nebulous figure, cloaked as some sort of bureaucracy will move against you. When you are still, you are invisible to them. The more you move, the more the spider will sense your movements.

Sagittarius: This is a pleasant month of contemplating your material wealth. Not until after the 21st will your war like nature be reminded of the task of saving mankind from itself. Earlier in the month, around the 13th, an agent of the reforming Knights Templar will make contact with you concerning banking reform. Your opinions are appreciated. Do not hold back. You will be rewarded with a seductive adventure with a tempting example of the gender you prefer. Those Templars know how to party.

Capricorn: The War God makes use of your many talents, even as the dreamy eyed idealists block your ambitions. Things are just going backwards, but position yourself to be heading towards a pit so that you will be backing away. Use your clever wits to work this. In the last week of the month, something exciting will occur which will none the less keep you from your daily plans, which is to say: stay home when the riots break out.

Aquarius: Your mind will be filled with good ideas for inventions, developments, and future actions, especially in the first full week of the month. Write down your ideas, capture them, if only to prove to yourself later how brilliant you are. You will be the star of the party on the weekends in the middle of the month, but do wear matching socks, even if you are opposed to the idea for political reasons. Take your clothes off in public at least once this month.

Pisces: Your ability to control the minds of others grows this month. It will peak on the 20th of the month, even if it will bring you some sort of food reward on the 7th. After the 21st, the mundane imposes on your growing powers. A car repair looms, but you will not have to pay for it if you listen to the whispers of your subconscious. As the month wanes, avoid sexual activity that will send you back to jail, even if they beg for release, offer money, or chocolate cinnamon cheesecake dusted with macadamia.

Confidential to Colonel Juan in Bogota: Your plans are without flaw. The shipment arrives Wednesday. The messenger will identify himself as Walter from Prussia. Talk about old times when you discover that he is an old school friend.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Empty Cup

When the cup is empty you want it full. My cup is empty. I am empty. I live in a desert, or at least my soul is there. It is not a hot desert, like Death Valley, but a dry one. It is Canada, a cold desert. There is water, but the sources are far away, places I do not know. Close to me, within range of my thirst, there is none. I can walk, I can drive, but the sources of water are dry. If there are others, I know not where. There is snow, of course. Canada has lots of snow this time of year, but the snow on the ground you cannot drink. It is poison. Contaminated with dog piss, N-person spit, and road salt. Better to die of thirst than die of that. Water, for the soul, comes in three forms: friendship, sex, and patriotism. There are fancy Latin terms for these (eros, patria, I think), but the empty cup I have is that of love of country, that despised affection called variously nationalism.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Supernatural Toronto

The fading of Christianity has had its predictable results: supernatural spirits more familiar to the Ancient Greeks and the superstitious Romans have returned to our city. The Goddess Persephone * , in particular, the consort of Hades, Lord of the Underworld roams the streets of Toronto. Persephone, who rather resembles Lady Gaga in taste for material possessions, also has a taste for mortal men. Being a goddess she has, it is said, the most beautiful vagine. So much so that those who have sampled her divine affections are no longer capable of ejaculation. Of course, those so touched by the divine are driven by their craving for release, and incapable, that they go mad. They also turn into satyrs, their feet slowly reshaping into cloven hooves, their bodies hairy (often mistaken for Italian or Portuguese construction workers), and their need for food or sleep disappears. They haunt the night life of the city, live under bridges and in the forested ravines, and exist in torment.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Generic Love Spell

After you learn the meanings of the tarot cards, you learn the combinations. This besides that means whatever. After you learn combinations you learn associations. The Knight can stand in for the King, the Ace modifies the others, and the Pages are lesser mortals than their feisty Knight cousins, or their sober Kings who rule over them. And then, one magical moment, you learn you can rearrange the cards that speak of the question you have asked. You can change the reading and turn the listening into dictation.

The Sleeping Sword

Waiting for the sword to fall, indeed. Which of the four horsemen will be the first to strike? Disease seems the most likely. But then there is War; diplomacy and things unseen in the background could avert that first blow. Famine calls itself economic downturn now a days, and we have been living with it for some years now. The Earthshaker has done his bit, and could strike, but nobody expects that expected event.

Disease. There are more than one plague to choose from. Which do you favour? The tuberculosis, the gonorrhea, or the dirty hospital cough? We had ways of dealing with diseases before we had anti-biotics, but the sanitarium, the quarantine, and the closed port technologies have been sold off for votes for the insane, the roaming cougher, and the illegal immigrant. I would mention the clay footed response to the HIV epidemic, but in a country without freedom of speech, that could get me in trouble. Better half the population dies choking on their own vomit than we be prepared for the predictable and inevitable.

The dead white males always said it only takes one aggressor to make a war. We have two: the bomb crafting Iranians, and the holocaust stung Israelis. If a war does break out, the Obama voters will flock back to vote for Obama, which does put a spin on the foreign policy of the world’s smartest leader. Patriotism. No mention in the media of the support of the usual ex-Bolshevik powers for Iran. Any rail movements of munitions over their common border? Nary a peep: all is mourning for the latest crack pipe casualty in Hollywood.

Famine. There were always peasant uprisings after a famine. Marx noted this, but the current crop of Marxists are in love with the non-workers of the tax spending class. They have built up a security apparatus from the ranks of the freedom loving patriots, a strategy that a Roman emperor or Greek despot would judge unwise. Likewise layoffs in the military, those looming endings of career and avocation. Mind you, coups do not happen in the modern Rome. Not never. You can press their buttons, take their wealth, and what always happens will not happen. You can find that not written in the history syllabus. Better to read about the heroic struggle to have wheelchair ramps installed at libraries and post offices than about the inevitable.

Disaster. This only seems to show up as a logical consequence of some economic activity that creates jobs and capital. Going back to horses will stop the hurricanes in Florida and the earthquakes in California. Yup. And from the last disaster, nobody prepares for the next. At least, the preparations made are made by people who do not show up on the white guilt gummed up monitors of the media. Just who is buying all those guns, ammo, survival rations, and other stuff I will not mention? Who knows, who knows. If you do, you keep quiet in this time of absence of freedom of speech.

Go to bed and rest your weary head. The sun will rise tomorrow. The dawn may be smoke filled from N-person riot, the air filled with pestilence from roaming victims of oppression, and the news of your job layoff in the mail. If the earth shakes, or the waters rise, the prepared will act, and the looters loot. It is all very predictable, but which Ace will turn up first? Which of the four horsemen will bring forward his legions as vanguard?

Saturday, February 4, 2012

The three blue privilege tokens, two nights in Montreal problem

It is a math problem, really. I ended up with the bag holding the blue privilege tokens after handing them out to deserving staff at the Frigg's day moot. There were three blue privilege tokens in there, that black velvet bag the Mayor uses to hold the weeks issue. Gosh darn. Nobody noticed, they were all bolting out the door to their separate destinations: the green privilege tokens to The Pleasure Center, the local bar; The red privilege tokens to the Colosseum, for an evening spectacle watching wild beasts tear apart Occupy activists; and the blue tokens were headed to the parking lot: their reward was a weekend in Montreal, there to sample Michigan sausage. There are only two days in the weekend, as you well know; two tokens are sufficient for the entire weekend of Michigan sausage, and the best Michigan sausage is in Montreal. It is a perfect time. But what if you have three blue privilege tokens? This is the three blue privilege tokens, two nights in Montreal problem.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Chemical Drain Cleaner Blues

Have you ever wondered about someone's ability to plug the drainage system of a house or apartment? Everyone sheds hair, everyone pours bacon fat down the kitchen sink, but why do some people get all the clogs? These special people have the plumber on speed dial; they are knowledgeable about toilet snakes, are conversant with the dissolving speeds and ratios of caustic to fat, and they know which midnight gardening supply center has specials on Drain-o. You know someone like this, do you not?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Where is my role model

Gluten Badwulf is my nephew, and he lives in Erin, Ontario. He is a fine lad and is shaping up well to inherit the Broccoli Plantation that the Badwulf's have had in that part of Ontario since the Orangemen settled the area in the 1880's. Unlike me, though, he watches television. The Badwulf compound in Erin (located on the vast acreage of the plantation) boasts a fine chateau, and most of the rooms have a television of some sort. Flat screen now a days, and flat screen monitors are less bulky than their tube ancestors, so stuffing a screen in the various rooms; bedroom, den, kitchen, laundry, and work shop; is more likely than it was back in the days when the lying progressives of the CBC were filling the brains of taxpayers with the over boiled pasta of political correctness. Of course, nobody in the Badwulf household watches main stream TV; they watch downloads.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Horoscope for the week of January 22, 2012

The Sun finally transits out of Capricorn and into Aquarius, taking the personal edge off the bite of the various heavy influences of Pluto (money crisis), and Saturn (relationships). As the Age of Aquarius starts to flex its muscles (the internet) we are seeing the crumbling of the obsolete remnants of the Age of Pisces, and a few bits from just about everywhere.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Fenris Badwulf caring person

I, Fenris Badwulf, I care. One way I have of caring is to grant people's wishes. Within reason, of course. One little girl wanted to play with spiders: now we cannot have that, now can we? All socially acceptable stuff applies; not only does it apply, it is constantly shifting thanks to the soft headed whims of the ability challenged activists. And since we are gunning somehow for a government grant, funding, resources, contracts, from all this teddy bear and pony posturing one needs someone else to pay the piper, foot the bill, make the sacrifice. Sacrifices are called for, but these can be arranged with suitable lies and untruths: it is the government after all. The next pressing problem is is it doable? Some wishes are impossible; and to determine doable we must get close to the person making the wish. Talk to them, watch them like a stalker, laugh at their jokes, earn their trust, reflect back their statements, and really apply those telemarketers listening skills. Still, it may lead back to spiders.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Snowblower Operator Safety Helmet Awareness

Gretchen Prunebowel is a library worker facing unemployment thanks to the unjustified persecution by extreme right white wing fringe meanies. I talked to her at her office only the other day. She was sad. I was so sad that I wanted to raise taxes just to make her stop crying. Always active in activist causes, she is one of the prime movers for the installation of needle drop off jugs in library washrooms. As she put it not having a safe place to shoot up in a library is a leading cause of oppression. Especially when she/he/it/whatever is waiting around after a job opportunities seminar to pick her/his/its/whatever kids from the library reading program. But there is more of her good works. She is working to bring in a Toronto bylaw requiring snow blower operators to wear an approved snow blower operator safety helmet when operating a snow blower...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Not resting in peace

Not resting in peace, what the heck does that mean? Not resting? Resting, but not peacefully? Insomnia, acid reflux, but for the dead? Or does the 'rest in peace' bit just get negated? In a post Christian world, we gotta know. Into the vacuum created by the suppression of Christianity, the vacant atheism of the elites has not seeped. The disgusting proletarians (with whom the Marxist divines do not rub shoulders) have spiritual beliefs; it is their opiate, for they are the masses. But while the Mass, the bible study, and the Sunday sermon are no more, still the seething masses embrace belief, and what they believe is pagan, not atheism.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Let's spend taxpayers money

Spending has never been faster and deeper than it has been with those generous wheelbarrows of taxpayers money, thanks to Federal Arts spending grants here at Mitchieville. Spending without supervision or accountability is one of my skills, finely honed in dispersing Federal, provincial, and municipal capital over the long steady years of activist statism.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Amerikkka under Communism, er Socialism, er Progressive whatever

Let us face it, the most successful communist country was East Germany. There was something special about the commitment of the peace loving German people, as lead by their wise leadership, towards making communism, er, socialism, er, progressive whatever, work. And in East Germany, let us face it, it worked best. Now where do you get off thinking that America cannot do a better job, or an equivalent job, than the East Germans? I think that America can make communism, er, socialism, er progressive whatever, work.

A workers paradise means paradise for workers. Do you work? Have the capitalist monkeys done micro feces for you, lately? Have they ever? Their mouthpiece RINO creatures, the monkey mutants, just take your vote and then support the Never Workers Party. Time for a change. Red is a color found on the American flag.

Accepting the past, and owning it. I can freely accept the history of the communist, er, socialist, er, progressive whatever, in mass murder, torture, seizure of private property, suppression of religion, and whatever various bad things that everyone else does they get accused of. And I say, big deal. Like how is the Tea Party (if in power, say) going to deal with the Never Workers? Cutting their diaper money is going to lead to 'social unrest'. Get your head out of the sand, worker. The Never Workers are short listed to a seat in a disintegration chamber. Does not matter who is running the show, the mess is the same, the laws of economics are still law, the invisible hand of the market still is invisible, and the logical final solution of the Never Worker problem is just one, and final. At least the communists, er, socialists, er, progressive whatever'ses, have a proven track record of success at recycling undesirables into soap, purse leather, sex slaves, asbestos workers, and raccoon food pellets. Tell me this is not going to happen, tell me lies; deceive yourself, if you can.

Think about this, Happy Worker.
After the defeat of the Never Workers Party comes the rendering down of the Never Workers. Once the Never Workers have ceased oxygen consumption (No buffalo, no Sioux) there will be plenty of resources within a balanced budget (in an environment of zero government debt) to build bridges, highways, and liquid sodium fast breeder reactors. But will the Never Workers report to the disintegration chambers on the promise of a lollipop from Newt Gingrich? I suspect not. For a proven performer in final solutions management, you need socialism. Democracies with property rights and gun ownership are incompetent bunglers in this market sector.

Make up your mind, Happy Worker.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Michigan sausage

Recently, unlike my normally hard working self, I took advantage of the privilege token system here in Mitchieville and went to Montreal to use up a few of the many blue, red, orange, and green privilege tokens I had accumulated in my position as Minister of Re-Education. It was New Years. I jumped in the employee Mitchieville to Montreal shuttle (along with Sonjia DeSade, Reg from Internal Mail, and Trixie from Library Sciences). The Mayor is too cheap to pay for a driver, so we took turns driving, and filled the miles with conversation.