The Plumber who could not fart

Ah, Calgary. Cold in winter. Filled with people. People whose plumbing backs up. This is where The Plumber lives, works, and plays. This plumber, he works for a living. No employment equity for him: no high pay, no high pension, no nap time. But The Plumber is resigned to his lot. It is for the best. He works with the public, you see. Baby mommas have sinks that clog; Welfare artists have drippy faucets; socialist social services sector have needs for new and fabulous fixtures. They pay, sometimes, in cash; which offsets the confiscation of income which pays for the baby mommas, the welfare artists, and the socialist social services sector paper passers that confiscate, dole, and spend. 'Cash is good,' says The Plumber. He is not known for conversation. In his free time, at home, he reads books, and he makes stuff in his basement workshop. Lately, he has been struggling with the miasma that is the Green movement. Working in a trade named after the hated, toxic, earth rapist element of lead (you know, plumbum is Latin for Lead, and the first pipes were made from lead, hence plumber) one should be concerned that the trade will go the way of the light bulb. At least, The Plumber is concerned. He is also worried about his health. Who is not these days? There is no scientific consensus about food safety: does tofu give you worms? But The Plumber has a personal worry: he can no longer fart.

Astrology and Murder

Your destiny is written in the stars. Murderer? How to murder, and the fate of the corpse.

Astrology and Zombies

Zombies have surfaced from the collective subconscious. Foreshadowing of the coming apocalypse? Perhaps. A metaphor for something else? Perhaps. Serious students of the occult should apply their arcane knowledge. Regardless, you can use astrology to prepare yourself. Others may scoff, but you can rest smug and superior when they get their heads cracked open and their brains scooped out. Astrology can answer the three basic questions that might trouble you about your zombie experience: where will I be when I find out, how will they get me, and your ultimate fate when you become a zombie.

The Reactionary Impulse

After being told a lie what do you do? Do you know you have been lied to? The more important event is the realization you have been lied to. Being deceived is the inciting incident, yes. However it is the point at which you realize you have been lied to that sparks off the reaction. The reactionary impulse, so to speak. Now, not everyone who realizes they have been deceived react in exactly the same way. Some are 'co-dependent' and crawl back for more abuse. Some avoid, some adapt, and some seek to destroy their tormentors. To complicate our inquiry, we no longer live in a society that celebrates freedom of speech. People discovering the deceptions of the Statists, their whore media, their whore academia, and the whore bureaucracy; are rarely disposed to making public displays. It does not work, and the Statists, being bullies (er, tyrant) punish those that speak out against the plantation. Do I need to give examples? Heck no. I would much rather look at the reactionary impulse, what happens to those who have been pushed too far.

Valentines Day 2013

I woke up this glorious morning with the person I love. It is Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate love. There is a day of celebration planned: champagne and chocolates, flowers, and exchanges of presents. Sigh. This brings tears to my eyes. I can only hope and pray to Set, the Snake God, that you are as lucky as me: perhaps, luckier. Perhaps, though, you are not lucky at all. Has Set, the Snake God favored you as chef or waiter, or are you entree? Do you find yourself alone, wearing the garland of parsley and anointed with mayonnaise, weeping and waiting for the crushing jaws, the tearing claws, and the bad breath of carnivore? How sad. You look around and everyone you see appears to have the love of the love of their life. Why are you left in the icy cold meat locker on a hook when you should be up front, serving burgers; or better yet, creating new dishes with exciting foodstuffs and exotic spices? This Valentines Day you should look to Set, the Snake God to improve your circumstances. Your neighbors are doing it. Let me witness my Valentine's Day experience ...

The Broken Wand

The Department of Education has a SWAT team. Imagine that.  Well, amongst the cynical, this is nothing surprising.  Go out and talk to your Accelerationist buddies. Across the fruited plain, the police are gathering resources more war like and military than peace keeping and domestic.  Some say they are being equipped for tyranny.  Some say they are being bought off with toys.  Really?  Is it war, then?  The criminals are mobilizing, in numbers and munitions.  Are they?  All these martial preparations: the better question is 'are we preparing for the last war'?

How to do a love spell

I have to address this issue.  I am getting Google hits on an older piece I wrote. 

So, you want a love spell, eh?

Step one: Have your natal horoscope cast.  You will need to know the position by sign of your natal Venus and Mars.

Step two: Get a decent deck of tarot cards.  You will need the major trumps that represent Mars (The Lightning Struck Tower), and Venus (The Empress).

Step three: From your decent deck of tarot cards select the major trumps for the signs that Mars and Venus reside in. (Complications: if you have Venus and Mars in the same sign, see the Notes below)

Step four: construct a two by two matrix of cards in the following pattern:

1. Planet, sign
2. Sign, planet

Notes:

This will bring your planets into equilibrium and bring you love.  It might not be who you think, and you cannot, using this method, target specific individuals. 

This method can also be used to bring equilibrium to your other planetary pairs.  If you recall the Arabian Parts school of astrology, you will remember that various pairs of the inner seven planets have domain over specific areas.  (Venus and Mars over love, for example). 

If your Venus and Mars are in the same sign, use, for the second sign, the sign opposite.

Sargon the Magnificent wrote this.