Sunday, April 14, 2013

Horoscope for the week of April 14, 2013

Scorpio acquired a fearsome reputation in the Middle Ages. The great plague was associated with that sign, as was the terrible purge of the Templars (which gave us the the horror of Friday the Thirteenth). The Knights Templar ran the first bank and their creditors, the King of France and the Pope, decided on a novel way to avoid payment on their debts: burn the bankers. Banks, plague, secret plots, religious societies: this all sounds like where Scorpio and Pisces intersect. We have a focus on banks in our present time; and a certain religion is prominent, too. One wonders: will plague and secret plots be involved? You only get to find out about them after the fact. Neptune is ruling in Pisces, and there is a Saturn/Pluto mutual reception. Mars rules in Aries. The five planets in Aries (ouch! be careful around sharp anything) point to discovery, enlightenment, and revelation of new knowledge. Perhaps, if you are quick of eye, you can discern the murky workings of Neptune, Pluto, and Saturn.

Aries: The Goddess of Love loves you, Aries. Expect some decadent pleasures, but on an awkward schedule. Take Monday night, for example. Yes, an orgy on a school night.

Taurus: The farmer opens the barn gate, Tuesday. All that fresh spring grass waits for your grazing, along with other spring time pleasures. Aaaargh. You are irresistible, even in polyester.

Gemini: You will have moved into a parallel dimension when you go back to work Monday. Who installed the intelligence package into the primates, you will ask. These little surprises do not end there. You will find evidence of a murder on Wednesday; unfortunately, the murderer is in the middle of clean up. Wear running shoes.

Cancer: Communication with the masses is first priority until Wednesday, then your own reasonable concerns for hearth and heart until Friday, when the big party occurs. You are the star of the party. You will meet a practical person with good advice between decadent pleasures.

Leo: Demand a pay raise this week. Take their money. Demand tribute, and you will be gladly given it by the worshiping plebs. The sun rises and the clouds part as your enter the scene. You have the power to summon earthquakes.

Virgo: Things become rational this week. Your vacation in Hell is over. The War God has need of your designs. Do not forget the basics: include prunes in your diet.

Libra: Just wait until Tuesday. You will not need the two bags of lime in your garage then. After Tuesday, that feeling you are being followed will occur. You are wanted. The War God wants your services.

Scorpio: Stock up on Plague preparations. Is your domicile free of rats and fleas? The transition to the Zombie Apocalypse can happen while you are asleep. Be aware of this Monday, and starting Tuesday you can start to profit.

Sagittarius: Someone forgets to plug in their air hose and takes themselves out of the management team, to your delight. Glug glug glug. You get stuck with spell checking their charred documents.

Capricorn You will win the lottery this week. This will complicate your life and force you outside your master plan. Is this why you do not buy lottery tickets? Do the inner work: is it better to have order?

Aquarius: An alternate path opens up for you this week. Details are scanty at first, but will become available. It is a gentle deviation from the one you are on, and you can switch back and forth, for now.

Pisces: Money, property, and possessions. The neighbor's house burns down, someone drives into a tree, and you find a valuable coin on the sidewalk in front of the wreckage. Nothing you can do about it, but you could invest in some of those plastic coin collection bags.

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